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Calypso (A.K.A. Mom), 7/15/2003 - 10/22/2018
To Calypso (A.K.A Moo-Moo Kitty because you
looked like a cow, Moodini because you hid and we could not find
you, and Mom just because it suited you and the many nicknames
just morphed into that).
“I have loved you with an everlasting love” (Jeremiah).
I wanted to compose a poem; but my heart is just to broken, and I am at a loss for those kinds of words. “I am worn out from my groaning. All night long I flood my bed with weeping and drench my couch with tears.” (Psalm 6:6).
Instead, Mom, I have chosen to tell your story: I had just lost a very young kitty to leukemia. I seem to get the sick ones. I know why, but it sure hurts. From previous losses, I knew that this time waiting for another cat would not work. Within the week, I went to the shelter to see who was available. From outside, I could see a young “Cow Cat” in a windowsill with a screen in it. I went over to say hello, and you kept jumping up, rolling off the sill, and jumping up again and falling off. You were sneezing, sneezing through the screen and baptizing me with kitty nose juice. I knew you had to be mine. Inquiring inside, I found out that you were actually in quarantine with an illness; and I would have to wait to come get you on another day. I called until they said I could finally come. You were in a kitty cage in the lobby when I showed up and jumped down immediately to greet me. So. it began. Fourteen plus years of loving companionship I will always cherish.
Those years were not without problems: You were kind of “rough and tumble.” Always at the place you hated the most – the vet. Poked in the eye with your toy, hung by a claw from a porch miniblind chasing a fly, chin acne from plastic kitty dishes, the Whiskas scare, crystals from not drinking enough, hair mats along your back from a massage tool (scary, looked like furry dinosaur scales; was terrified you had gotten multiple sarcomas; luckily, a quick shave at the vet fixed that. The worst was your hypertrophic cardiomyopathy. You had nasty meds, which were worse than the disease. Had to take you off them. Off the meds, you actually did well and lived many more years. I am so very grateful for that. Then there was IBS, probably from all the previous antibiotics. I really tried, Mom. I was always scared that each incident was “the time.” But you surprised me. Fifteen is still young in my book, having had cats live to be over 18 and 19; but considering the heart disease, we did okay. I hope you think so too.
But the wonderful things I remember the most are: Your colors made you look like a telemarketer with a black spot on your head and a stripe going down your face under your chin. You sure sold me on yourself. Your multicolor paw pads were exactly opposite from each paw left to right. When you sat upright, there was a black marking of another cat hugging you. From the back, it looked like you were wearing pantaloons. You had the softest and silkiest fur of any cat I owned. You smelled of new-mown hay on a warm summer day. The most wonderful smell I could imagine falling asleep to at night. You loved to go on the porch and lay in the sun. You liked to play but got lazy later on in life and would just wait for the toy to come to you, other than catching flies of course. You never liked to be brushed until just the right brush was stumbled upon by my sister-in-law (Fran). Then I just had to say “brushy” or simply show you “brushy,” and you be on the bed for some mommy time. You would not sit in my lap because I think you did not know how. You would just stand there not knowing what to do. I think that was because you were almost a year old when I got you. You were kind of a cat’s cat. Not much of a “touch-me” girl for a number of years; but things gradually changed after “brushy,” especially after I quit working. In these last nine months, you seemed to want to be in visual site of me when not sleeping – your favorite pastime. You always got over stimulated and bit me. That actually became quite endearing. Your cardboard scratching post beds were your favorite and were everywhere. Let’s not forget catnip sockies and laser lights. Standing up in the box to do you know what. I could go on.
Photos: Mom, I have more pictures than you can imagine. I have your ultrasound when you got diagnosed with heart disease. Some day I will be able to look at them – just not now.
How many beds can one cat have? I think you had about seven to nine. It was definitely a case of “kitty owning everything.” That makes it very hard now; so much is missing. I definitely had “catification” going on, especially when you claimed the china cabinet cubby as your own. Sooo cute.
Thank you, Mom, for being there through the tough times. The last few years have not been fun at all, and you and God have gotten me through them. There was a lot of noise from the upstairs apartment; and I had two more job changes not of my choosing, having to work most holidays. After not being allowed to take Christmas off last year, which would have been our final Christmas together, I decided to quit the job and just be with you until you passed. You were getting up there in years, and I did not know how much longer we had. I am so fortunate to have been able to do so and so fortunate to spend the last nine months with you. Thank you, God, for the foresight and courage to make that choice. I am truly sorry we did not get to do that “day in sun” I always wanted to do.
Aye, Calypso, I sing to your spirit (John Denver)
Thank you, Lord, for my having a loving friend visiting at the time to take her to the vet with me that day and be with me and her to the end. Thank you for the books she gave me to take my mind off of things for a while. Thank you for taking kitty when I could get to the vet. Winter is coming, and to be stuck in the house with no way to get to the vet due to a blizzard with her being in pain would surely have been torture. I do recognize those Godly fortuitous events. Your timing, Lord, is always perfect.
Fourteen years passed so quickly. I am no spring chicken, so I hope the next years pass as quickly for me so I can be with you and my other fur babies again soon. I hope you are with them and possibly even with Ann. She loved her cats as much as me and would understand. If at all possible and if okay with God, Mom, please come get me.
“I'll find you in the morning sun and when the night is new I'll be looking at the moon but I'll be seeing you” (Billie Holiday).
Goodbye my love, my Mom.
I am putting in the following versus to remind me that I have a loving, great, and sovereign Lord who is there to help me and others get through this grief. If anyone reads this, may you also be comforted and blessed by them:
You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book. Psalm 56:8 (NLT)
There is no one like the God of Israel. He rides across the heavens to help you,
across the skies in majestic splendor. Deuteronomy 33:26 (NLT)
For the Lamb at the center of the throne will be their shepherd; He will lead them to springs of living water. And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes. Rev 7:17 (NIV)
……. God blesses you who weep now, for in due time you will laugh. Luke 6:21 (NLT)
I will lift up my eyes to the hills- from whence comes my help? My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth. He will not allow your foot to be moved; He who keeps you will not slumber. Behold, He who keeps Israel shall neither slumber nor sleep. The Lord is your keeper; the Lord is your shade at your right hand. The sun shall not strike you by day, nor the moon by night. The Lord shall preserve you from all evil; He shall preserve your soul. The Lord shall preserve your going out and your coming in from this time forth and even forevermore. Psalm 121 (NKJV)
Sweet Casper became an angel at 2:34pm p.s.t. on
Saturday, June 2, 2018. Baby Casper was rescued by Kelly and her
college roommate at the end of June in 1998 when he was only 4
weeks old. Casper chose Kelly from the very beginning. After
nearly 20 years together, he gets credit for helping shape who
Kelly is today. Casper was her companion since her age of only
21 years old. Casper was there when Kelly got her undergraduate
degree and graduate degree, when Kelly moved across America to
be with Maria in 2003, and when we bought a house, got married,
and just endless memories of play time and snuggle time.
Such an empty feeling without the little buddy and/or monster as we often called him, our Casper. His nicknames ranged from Mr. Paws (he was polydactyl), Pest, Buddy, Monster, Master Casper the Wonder Cat. He took over our lives for so long that now the house feels so empty without him. Just like a person when you lose them, you can't find anything that helps to make it better for quite some time. And even years later in those special people and pets, the loss remains.
Casper knew how to terrorize anything one held important to get to you and make his presence very important in your life. One could not ignore him; he wouldn't let you. He would make you pay for days when you left him for vacation: howling for Kelly, and running to her when she called for him, and keeping us awake for days. Later we figured out if someone stayed overnights with him, it helped some. When Maria worked at the computer he would meow a lot and walk around her until one day she figured out that he wanted his own chair next to her so that he could reach out his paw and touch her leg while she worked. Other times he just wanted to walk all over her lap and on top of the laptop and step on the keyboard and mess with her writings. Casper did the same to the TV remote and changed the TV channel on some program Maria often had paused for a long time. Or, the best is when he would adjust the bed by stepping on the bed remote! So many stories about him and his unique personality, intelligence, and social needs. Oh, and when we had to put him on a diet – he had an automatic feeder and he figured out how to steal food by putting his paw up the spout. Poor thing didn't realize he was stealing from his next meal!
In life and in his illness, we discovered so much about him and we learned to communicate with each other without words. Casper had very special goodbyes with his pet sitter, both of his vets, and Kelly and Maria. He passed away laying on Kelly’s chest where he could hear her heartbeat, see Maria's face, and feel Kelly’s arms holding him. We will miss him terribly. We will love you always, our sweet baby cat! We miss you Casper and there are not enough words to honor the love you created during your 20 years on this earth!
Love you always, from mommy Kelly and mommy Maria
My precious little girl. How can I describe the
pain I feel when I can hardly hold back the tears. You
were such a loyal angel that went through so much with me.
It was so hard to let you go, but I knew you were tired and were
only holding on because I did not want to let you go. You
are now at the Rainbow Bridge with Hershey and you have been
restored my love. Mommy and Daddy will see you one day
soon. Wait patiently my love... and run like the wind.
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